Butler’s advice is the same for parents of teens as it is for younger children: don’t focus on the act itself, instead focus on their feelings. These sites reinforce, encourage and aid kids, and they also provide a place for competition – each child trying to outdo the last in their act of self-harm.”ĭr. There are also websites that teach children how to self-harm and not get caught. “But they also burn themselves with lighters, pull out their hair and more. “The most frequent are scratching and cutting,” Dr. In adolescents, self-harm techniques are as limited as one’s imagination. The good news is that young children who self-harm do not necessarily become adolescents who self-harm. Working with a mental health professional, you and your child can learn how to self-soothe and develop the skills necessary to work through these challenging emotions without resorting to harm. Teaching young children the proper coping skills to handle difficult emotions is the best way to end self-harm behaviors. Instead, it is advised that you help your child calm down and then speak about how they are feeling. Butler cautions against being punitive or giving too much attention to the actual behavior as that will reinforce the act. As a parent, there is a fine line to walk to help your child address these behaviors. In younger children, self-harm can occur in several forms banging their head against the wall, punching or pinching themselves, biting themselves or punching or kicking a wall. Even kids we know that aren’t trying to kill themselves could make a mistake.” The reason for the behavior doesn’t negate that. “They may not want to actually die, but may do something that puts them in harm’s way. However, all self-harm behavior has the potential of becoming dangerous. Regardless of the reason for the behavior – whether emotional or social – the harm becomes a part of who they are and how they identify themselves. It can be difficult to treat children who self-harm because it is such an effective technique for the child. Self-harm releases endorphins that help the individual feel better – it becomes a coping mechanism. Unfortunately, as children get older, it can also be done to fit in with a certain group.” In adolescents, it could be because they are feeling like no one cares. In a young child, it is often because they cannot express their feelings or get their needs met. “Self-harm is often a way of coping with negative emotions. Melissa Butler, a clinical psychologist at Riley Hospital for Children at Indiana University Health. “It’s a very complex issue,” explains Dr. What should you do if you catch your child engaging in one of these acts? And why are they doing this? These are some of the most popular forms of self-harm.
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